-Nicholas Kula

“Why is it so hot in this room ALL THE TIME?” inquired Greta Swanson, who teaches a math course in Shattuck Hall's room 242. “It's like it's a furnace in here!”

Indeed, that day in Shattuck 242, the temperature read 77 degrees. Days prior, it had read 76.

Outcries such as these are not uncommon around campus, where temperatures are steadily rising. Is it a coincidence that the readouts of the thermostats on the walls in our classrooms have crept higher as the month runs long? Do you like sweating even more than you should be as your professors dole out exams? Why are things this way? Moreover, why is it so goddamned hot on campus, everywhere, all the time?

Portland State's campus is flooded with signs that remind us all to “Go green.” Hot Lips pizza has a third bin, in addition to the oft-seen receptacles usually reserved for recycling and general refuse, for one purpose: to collect scraps of food for compost. Recycling bins are placed all around campus and are generally filled to the point of bursting. There are some students who won't hesitate to verbally pile drive you if they see you tossing an aluminum can into a “general purpose” garbage can. Food For Thought, a sustainable independently-run restaurant in the basement of Smith is typically full of green-minded students.

That said, why is Portland State spending so much of its money trying to roast the student body?

With all of this greenwashing business spreading across campus, a student must wonder why they need to constantly shift between three different layers of clothing while making their way through one building to the next. Why should we have to remove every extraneous article of clothing every time we sit down in a desk? Why do we have open windows in late November? Why in God's name are students still wearing shorts to class? Why is it 78 degrees in the basement of the Millar Library?

Every year, there is talk of raising tuition. Money charged to students to pay for doctors and dentists, along with lights, running water, heat, and all that other business. Well, the question I posit before you is this: why is tuition going up to pay for heat they don't want? Why are we giving PSU money to make us sweat?

I set out to discover the answer.

In Shattuck 242, students openly complained about the temperature indoors. This was repeated all over campus. Millar library. The Urban Center. The Food Court.

First off for the investigation: inspecting the thermostats on campus. Some were ripped out of the wall, leaving a bevy of bare wires in their places. The highest recorded temperature on campus was 78 degrees in the basement of the library. It's 78 degrees in a large room that's buried underground. Something had to be done. Someone had to be spoken with. Someone needed to atone for this ridiculous climate.

After asking around in both the Market Center and the Facilities offices, I received two names that might lead me to the information I needed. Mark Fujii was the man to speak to about the campus heating loop, but he was a tricky man to get hold of. However, the more accessible person was the woman who was in charge of the school's utility bills. Her name is Avis.

Avis, aside from having the biggest desktop icons this reporter has ever seen, has a sweet disposition; much sweeter than I would expect from someone whose job it is to swim in paperwork all day. She offered stacks of graphs and monolithic piles of bills dating back to 2007. She informed me of the school's contract with NW Natural. PSU estimates the amount of gas needed, and if the school goes over, or under, the projected amount, it gets fined.

When she confirmed this she seemed to stutter for a second – a slight hesitation. So it was true. PSU does not have the option to conserve natural gas. PSU gets fined if they spend less than their predicted amount of gas.

Silently, I high-fived myself as a journalist, but the actual human being inside of me kind of frowned and sighed. NW Natural has my school locked into a contract where, at the danger of getting fined, we are forced to overheat our student body and faculty. What about all the banners around school – the ones asking me to recycle my cans and compost my table scraps? On the way outside the facilities office, looking up to the sky bridge, I saw another one of those banners.

Go Green? You first, PSU.