The Greeks, when devising the word “fun,” decided it should rhyme with “sun.”

They prophesized the modern cliché of our time, dubbing summer, for these literary reasons, fun-er than any other season. But summer is not quite as pleasurable as it used to be. Although school still technically ends, as a college student, there is an expectation one shall use the time wisely and get a job. That’s right—use that life of yours wisely. The wise always say, “Sacrifice leisure for business,” eh? Hogwash! The wise I know have done a great deal of nothing and that’s how I intend to spend my summer as well. (And even if I wanted to spend my summers working, who’s hiring?) Thus, now, more than ever, it is in one’s best interest to do nothing over the summer and to do nothing well— that is, to have a fun and free sunny season. Fun and free? Hardly ever a statement without some malicious ulterior motive. But somewhere out there, I am convinced, there are fun and free pleasures, and I will do my best to uncover them.

Fun things to do in June:

1. Though you do have to pay merchants for their goods, usually, at the Portland Farmer’s Market, why not take a brisk walk on through and enlighten the olfactory lobes instead? Perhaps this will help you slim down for that Speedo. (Additional bonus: People like to walk super cute mutt puppies through the park blocks at this time—perfect for the avid petter).
   Opens in late May, should be in full throttle by bigging of June
   
2. Chances are you know someone in the Portland Dragon Boat Race, so figure out who it is and dress yourself in fitting cheer gear.
   First week of June
   
3. Get in touch with the way others around the world live by browsing the naval vessels from the United States and our northern sister Canada during Fleet Week. Great for an individual to indulge in viewing studmuffins or a fun afternoon with the whole family.
   First week of June 
   
4. Avoid paying to see the Portland Grand Floral Parade by going to the showcase instead. The floats won’t be moving, but doesn’t that allow you to get a better look at them anyway?
   First week of June
   
5. The Portland Rose Festival Junior Parade is a collaboration of young boys and girls being rad and showing it off! Support them!
   June 3rd

Fun things to do in July:

1. Apparently nothing free happens in July, except for spying on an event’s fireworks.

Fun things to do in August:

1. The Wailers are playing at the Oregon Zoo. Admission is $10.50 but it’s the freaking Wailers; priceless.
   August 5th
   
2. Flicks on the Bricks will be showcasing Spielberg’s Jurassic Park at Pioneer Courthouse Square. Get there early to ensure a good stair.
   August 7th
   
3. I would pay not to run in the Hood to Coast Relay—however, it can be really enjoyable to set up camp alongside the course, particularly in locations closer to the coast, and watch sweaty and dehydrated people run past you.
   Last week of August