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Science with Ines: Speedy Slimming for the Summer
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By no means am I a Morgan Spurlock, but I hope that you will find my investigations helpful and pertinent to the struggles of everyday life. So let us sit back, strap on our goggles, and toast our Bunsen burners to me.

An experiment to investigate the quickest way to a hot bod.

Query: What I’m scheming, its purpose, and what I hope comes of it.
I will be conducting an experiment to discern which cardio exercise machine will help me burn the most calories. The purpose of this endeavor is to find out how to get a hot bod in the quickest amount of time possible. I hope that a stationary bicycle will help me burn the most calories because it allows me to sit; one of my favorite pastimes.

Hypothesis: An uneducated guess.
If I exercise for 10 minutes each on a(n): treadmill, Stairmaster, stationary bicycle and elliptical, to the intensity of “Eye of the Tiger” on repeat, then I predict I will burn the most calories from the Stairmaster, because its name implies it will thrash me into hotness.

Procedure Summary: The play by play.
I made a playlist consisting of: “Eye of the Tiger,” “Eye of the Tiger” and “Eye of the Tiger”. I called it Eye of the Tiger. I went to my local gym (if you don’t have one, you can always use the Stott’s stuffy confines) and began exercising. I ran on the treadmill, stepped on the Stairmaster, pedaled on the stationary bicycle, and looked stupid on the elliptical for 10 minutes each. After exercising, I recorded the calories burned from the calorie expenditure meter on the digital panel. Unlimited water was available for me during the study. Exercising happened in the afternoon at 3:00pm. A damp towel was used to mop my pathetic persipirating forehead.

Data and Observations: The facts; truth; true that; actuality.
 
Exercise machine of choice
Total calories burned
Pros Cons
 Treadmill 94-People think you are a true athlete, especially if you maintain breathing
 -Pummels joints
-Commonly juxtaposes image of elitist cross-country marathoner with  stupid iPod bicep band
-Entails instance injury should one stop exercising
 Stairmaster 92 -Probably one of the most frightening mobile things to stand on, so perspiration increases -Probably one of the most frightening mobile things to stand on
 stationary bicycle 44 -You can read magazines while you pump those legs
-Reading magazines with beautiful women makes you feel even uglier so you pedal faster
 -Doesn’t work very well
-Gives you a sweaty bum
 elliptical 106 -For the first two minutes, one feels as though they are pleasantly leaping
-Burns the most calories
 -Associated with wimps who can’t take the heat of the treadmill
-Being a top choice for overweight moms, ellipticals are usually never accessible to the general public

 

Results: Where I tell you who wins!
The chart clearly shows that the elliptical wins!

Conclusion:
I can’t say I’m too happy about this. As we’ve come to see, exercising while sitting is too good to be true. Essentially, working out on the elliptical will burn the most calories.

 

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