You might be asking yourself, “Did the Rearguard just throw together an article about naked yoga so that it could make a hilarious cover?” The answer is yes, they did. You're welcome.

Crouching tiger, not so hidden dragon.

And if you came up with that all on your own, you can count yourself among the very astute. Perhaps you should consider being a detective, or a CIA analyst, or maybe just charging to do parlor tricks for the sort of people that hang out in parlors. Honestly though, I'm pretty sure we looked up naked yoga after we came up with the cover. The good news is that when we looked it up we found it. And thank God, because I know what you’ve been thinking: “I'm a gay/bi/straight/questioning man, and I would like to do naked yoga with a bunch of like-minded individuals. Where, oh where, can I do this without being arrested?” Turns out there is a place for you. It's at Men's Tantric Yoga, and it is conveniently located downtown. This is what you'll look like:

So we all know yoga is pretty much awesome, and everyone should feel totally guilty for not getting up at 5:30am each and every morning before the world wakes to greet the life-giving sun, which apparently you are supposed to salute or it will kill you immediately with solar radiation. But why naked?

Good question — so good that the Men's Tantric Yoga website answers it for us before we even have to fork over any money. They had this to say:

"Why naked? When we shed our outer garments we shed our judgments of our self and of others. We also release our inhibitions that prevent us as MEN from connecting fully with ourselves and thus others. Our bodies become a vehicle for connection, NOT the focus of connection. We see ourselves as people, not objects of sexual gratification. In these classes there is NO genital focus or contact, we are more than our cocks, we strive to become whole beings integrating body/mind/spirit. In Partner work we focus on connecting with each other through energy and breath (chi, prana, lifeforce) NOT our sexual urges. This is a safe, open and honest environment to meet the challenge of deeper connection to self and other."

I don't know about you, but as a man, I would also like to be more than my cock. I never thought about myself in such a limited way, but sometimes certain oppressions can go unnoticed. My mind is already opening up, and I still have my pants on…Wow, maybe this stuff works.

An unidentified Portland State student who is definitely not homophobic has this to say:

"Honestly, I would love to do yoga naked, because the clothing restricts my movements — my shirt's always bunched up around my face when I do my Downward Dog, y'know?"

He then added:

"But I'm not going to do naked yoga partner work."

So clearly non-homophobic people still have a ways to go. But for those who are not so closed minded should they can look up Men's Tantric Yoga at: home.comcast.net/~jedlcsw/site/