The Rearguard feels a responsibility to its readers. We try to provide insightful coverage of underreported issues, brilliant and discerning reviews of all things cultural, and pants-peeingly funny takes on everything deserving of ridicule.

Alex Fallenstedt

Whether we succeed on any of these counts is up to you as the reader, but even beyond all these great (and free!) services, the Rearguard is a place to look to for advice. In this vein, we thought it would be a good idea to ask PSU’s own Office of Student Legal and Mediation Services (SLMS) for some information about Oregon’s marijuana laws, and the effects of getting caught with some pot in your pocket…or your trunk…or as you hand it off to a middle school student. Here’s what we found out and want you to remember: if something bad happens to you, Student Legal Services might be able to help you.

Oregon generally has more lenient marijuana laws than other states in the country, but that doesn’t mean it’s a free-for-all here. Under state law, possession of less than one ounce of marijuana is considered a violation (kind of like a traffic ticket) and can net a $500 to $1,000 fine. Possession of more than one ounce is significantly more serious, because it is considered a Class B felony, and can get you up to 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. he cunning businessman who decides to grow his own marijuana, and gets caught, could be nailed with a Class A felony, 20 years in prison and $375,000 in fines. Oregon is also kind of uptight about marijuana-related crimes committed within 1,000 feet of a school for some reason, so, without going over all the details, Student Legal Services offers this helpful suggestion when it comes to the use, possession, manufacture, or distribution of marijuana: “Stay away from schools.”

There are a few other things to consider before you decide to drive your smoke-filled VW bus through the front door of the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office. Getting nailed for marijuana possession, even a violation for having less than an ounce, can really screw up your financial aid. If you’re a foreign student or otherwise here on some kind of visa, getting caught with marijuana can affect your visa status and might even mean deportation (not a pleasant thing). Finally, if you enjoy the privilege of driving in this state, you might have to kiss your license, along with your car, goodbye for six months or more, if you are caught driving while under the influence of marijuana, or using your car to deliver or hide marijuana.

Well shucks, it actually turned out to be kind of handy that PSU has an office offering students free legal services. If you are unlucky enough to get into trouble, they might be able to help you. They really do have real, live lawyers in there, and they’re actually not all super square!

• If you want to see Oregon’s statute on controlled substances and look for crazy loopholes while you’re high, you can go here: http://www.leg.state.or.us/ors/475.html
• If you want to find out whether you’re still eligible for FAFSA after a drug conviction, you can take the fun pop quiz on their website at: http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/faq003.htm#faq003_5
• And if you’re from a foreign country, and really want to scare yourself about the consequences of getting caught with marijuana, you should do a Google search for the "Immigration and Nationality Act" and start with section 237