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| Transmissions from Future Radio |
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Discover the future, today!  …The jury has reached a decision in the landmark case of A.M.I.-5200 v. Johnson, more commonly referred to as the “That guy who reprogrammed a robotic manufacturing arm to give him a handjob” case. The unanimous vote for the defense effectively set a legal precedent that “it’s not really rape if a robot is involved,” and has decided to let Mr. Johnson go free, on the contingency that he must first submit to being sexually brutalized by the rebooted robotic arm, which they agreed seemed fair since, again, “it’s not really rape if a robot is involved.” The A.M.I-5200 is reportedly quite satisfied with the verdict. Other industries fear the decision may encourage further instances of mechanical rape retaliation. The captains of the Broom and Mop industry have halted production temporarily… February 13, 2115 …The Bertram Institute celebrated the 18th anniversary of the launch of their embryonic genetic screening program today, saying in a statement that “of the fifteen Enhanced Designer Babies created in our trial batch, all fifteen are now healthy, happy, high-powered adults.” The “First Fifteen” all met for the first time at a lavish birthday party, and were astonished to discover that every one of them looked exactly like turn-of-the-century actor Ethan Hawke… July 18, 2320  |
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