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| Bozo to Speak at TriMet Competency Summit |
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To the residents of Portland and its environs, TriMet has become synonymous with public transit. Its combination of bus service, MAX light rail and the slower-than-walking streetcar stretches to nearly every weird corner of the city.
However, recently, TriMet has instead synonymized with “crappy public transit,” a swollen monopolistic institution hellbent on collapsing into itself. When TriMet first opened Fareless Square in the ’70s, it was by and large a resolution to crippling parking issues. People with huge land-barge cars that were popular in that era were soaking up astoundingly more sidewalk and others were outraged. Since extending the sidewalks was out of the question, TriMet announced that all rides in the mysteriously-defined downtown region would be free, regardless of public transit medium. One can only imagine the elation of the homeless community. Sadly, in the fourth quarter of 2007, some people got beat up on the MAX in Gresham. Shortly thereafter, some more people got beat up on the MAX in Gresham. Then some more. Finally, having had enough of its passengers getting assaulted out in Gresham, TriMet decided to blame Fareless Square in downtown Portland. The logic prevalent in the upper echelon of TriMet’s monkey lab was astounding; they concluded that lawbreakers would board the MAX downtown, ride out to the end of the line, then get all mad and slap someone around. The only people who supported this tripe were the people who had previously had their shit wrecked by Gresham’s “undesirables” (as TriMet called them). Nobody bought it, and the idea sunk back into the TriMet melting pot. Two years later, a bunch of credit lending companies went FUBAR and a bunch of people lost their jobs. Continuing today, the r-word is kicking ass left and right. TriMet’s solution? To hell with Fareless Square... part deux! Yes, that’s correct; the same actions TriMet was considering taking because of its riders being assaulted in 2007 was once again rearing its ugly head because people can’t afford to ride the bus. People also can’t afford to get 1.5 hour transfer slips from a busdriver who’s had a crappy day because a baby threw up on the bus. TriMet has also dropped the ball in a way that others don’t realize. The Green Line? I realize that cocking up downtown’s well-planned bus mall was a pretty bold move, but now they want to allow people from Clackamas into Portland? Bold maneuver indeed, TriMet. The way I see it, the less infiltration Portland experiences from its outlying areas, the better. Now, instead of gross clubs (Dirty? Dixie? I’m looking in your direction) being the destinations of the Plague from the East, Clackamites can hop on the Green Line and share a similar experience, gumming up the roads and escalating drunken bachelorette party slap-and-cry-fests that spill out into the streets of Old Town. Speaking of the necessary evil that is the suburbs, TriMet’s boner for Clackamas has left a bunch of other suburbanites out in the cold. It has been decided that TriMet will axe four bus lines, schedule huge route changes for 20 others, and cripple weekend service for 15. The decision to cut the weekend service from a whole bunch of Beavertonian areas leaves me with a sour taste in my mouth. Why not shitcan service to and from Gresham? They already have enough ways into the city. Granted, the bus lines that are scheduled for a trimming down are pretty worthless—some having as few as 13 stops—but the buses scheduled to get the weekend service tinkered with mostly serve the entire western hemisphere of the metro area. Tsk tsk, TriMet. Of course, none of these changes will be implemented until September; just long enough to alienate Beaverton PSU students and exalt mall walkers from Clackamas during fall term. If you’re a poor college student living on a shoestring budget out in the land of TV restaurants, eking your way through school while paying a very small amount of rent, TriMet has a message for you: get a car. Still angry about it? Try calling TriMet’s service line if you’ve got a couple hours to kill. If that doesn’t work, maybe you can take a bus down to TriMet HQ and slide your complaint through their mail slot with salad tongs. Really, though, send TriMet a scathing voicemail or email if you so desire, futile as it may seem. TriMet features their email address and phone number prominently on their buses and pamphlets. They want to hear from you—that is, if you live in Clackamas.  |
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