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| My Anti-Taco Bell PSA |
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There is something in the air that shuts people down. Chemtrails? Not quite—it’s a different mind-control device used on the population of Portland, far more sinister than the densest chemtrail. The device in question is the color blue. When it’s in the air, people forget everything: how to drive, how to cross the road, how to keep oneself from throwing up in public and, most of all, academic obligations. I realize that the temptation is great; to succumb to the enthralling azure hue and drift off into a haze while marinating in beer. I’ve been there. The fact is, though, that summer is not a time to close the vault on your PSU duties. I realize it’s called “summer vacation” for a reason, but as with any actual vacation where you actually go places, part of the trip is figuring out how to get home. This is especially important for you freshmen. It’s a given that you’ll likely go to the beach, drink a lot and engage in other general dick-offery. That’s fine. Just don’t forget about one of the most crucial aspects of scholastic continuity: the summer registration. That isn’t to say that you should spend all summer hovering around your computer trying to beat everyone to all the sweet classes (though that’s important). With the economy being as shitty as it is, forgetting to register for classes could have some very dire consequences. In previous years, failing to register for fall term resulted in an age-old fallback: “I’ll just get a job until winter term.” Previously, that was a somewhat plausible crutch. These days, talk like that is not only ludicrous; you should be beaten with a yardstick if it sounds like a good idea to you. Don’t embarrass your parents. Get on the ball with the fall registration. You’ll look like a total wiener jocking the grill at Taco Bell if you didn’t register because you were ass-deep in the Sandy River. The harsh truth is that if you don’t spend at least part of your summer thinking about school, you’ll come back to PSU in a tailspin. This doesn’t just include your registration. Registering late can really put a damper on your academic progress, too; you don’t want to come back fresh off break into a bunch of classes that not only bore you to death, but aren’t pertinent to your major. You’ll wonder why you’re in school to begin with—especially if you have less than a year vested into the program. Do you really want to live in your parents’ basement forever? ’Cause Ondine sure as hell won’t let you stay if you drop out. School is important, and thusly, planning for school is extra important. Remember the words of one of the great thinkers of our time; math teacher Mr. Dewey of Saved by the Bell: “You make light of algebra now, but when you’re all grown up and your friends are making logarithm jokes at cocktail parties, you won’t have a clue as to what everybody’s laughing at.”  |
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